Plumber For A Day...

If you have read my blogs you will recall that I am not a mechanic. I do well with tools but don't know a motor from an engine.

Unfortunately for me, plumbing is a similar category. Again, the tools are no problem and I have most of what I need. However, spending a couple of hours bent over working on frozen pipes, or on my knees repairing somebody's haphazard under-sink work leads to a severe increase in the pain level of this body.

It isn't a bad body for a 52 yr old with years of accidents and worn joints. And it was never a bad body, just average physically and not pro-sports. It has had its moments. Good moments. I ignore the bad moments.

Back in North Warren Regional High School I was on the wrestling team. Most times I was JV because I couldn't beat long legged Ralph and his long legs during the weekly wrestle-off for the Varsity spot. He was just probably better than me, but I did wrestle varsity in one very important match. Before I can go on about plumbing I just have to relate this match.

Ralph didn't make weight the night we wrestled Belvidere (I think). He was a few pounds over, or sick, or maybe he didn't want to face the undefeated state champion. I can't remember his name, and I should because he went to Blair for a post-grad year. I'm sure I met him on the mat again during my short-lived Blair wrestling career. But its been more than 30 years and I have forgotten some details of those ages. (If somebody can refresh my memory I'll edit this and correct it.)

Anyway, Ralph didn't make weight and I was moved to the Varsity team. This was only my second year of wrestling. Just a mere sophomore. Suddenly I was matched to the undefeated state champ who was a senior with many years of experience including preschool, gradeschool, junior high and high school, and dozens of wrestling camps.

He was good. I didn't win. He was very good. And, although I lost on score, I was not PINNED by the state champ. A proud yet somber moment for me.

I remember being stuck in a back-bridge unable to see anything except one light on the ceiling and the time clock ticking down from 1:04 in the third and final round.

Tick...tick...tick......tick...........tick...............tick and each moment took longer and longer.

He was unable to break my bridge, you know with feet on the mat, bent over backwards to top of head on the mat, twisting and turning trying to toss him off, trying to stay up so he couldn't get my shoulders down on the mat.

The referee warned him about delaying, and I think I got a point on the second warning...but that could just be wishful thinking. Eventually the time ran out before I collapsed. He had the win. He was still undefeated. I was JUST a two year JV wrestler that he couldn't pin.

This was the only match my father ever attended. And there was a very cute girl on the cheer leader squad that I wanted to ask to the next dance. (She also later attended Blair Academy.)

So why tell you about this? Because it is proof that the old body was never that bad, and still isn't all that bad. Yet, bending over working on rusted, corroded pipes behind the tub, or kneeling and working on fouled up plastic pipes under a sink -- they just don't fit me.

However, the work got completed. The leaks are gone and everybody is happy except for my back, my neck, my knees, my knuckles, and my pet gorilla.

Uh, sorry, there is no pet gorilla. And there was no plumber's crack either. So the body is still holding up even when I have to be the plumber for the day...

Inept Mechanic...

If you are like me and inept at auto mechanics you should take heart at my success. I've learned that my old truck is a Slant 6, 225, 3.7 with a single barrel Holley Carb (now that I installed it). It claims to be a Dodge Ram 100 better known as a D100. Says so right on the side of the truck with a fancy chrome name plate that says Ram 100 Custom.

Whoa... the VIN plate translation claims that it is a D150. Hmmm.... it is a 1984 but usually we can't find parts for it that match unless they are for a 1983 or a 1986. It was one of the early models that included an Engine Control Computer unit that hangs on the side of the air cleaner housing. Nobody seems to be able to get a replacement for mine so I had to retrofit my truck to match a 1973 system.

I have rerouted wires, removed vacuum hoses, plugged hoses, installed an older distributor, replaced my ignition coil, installed a resistor on the firewall (virus not included), snipped and capped this wire and that wire, pulled plugs, taped every which way. I  hooked springs back up to the new replacement carburetor and generally fumed with busted knuckles and nails torn to the quick.

However, a generous pumping of the accelerator pedal and a simple turn of the key was responded with the truck perking up and saying, "Oh, you want me to start?" And then it did. It started.

All this has been a very long process, since way back when I bought it last year. And I, the inept mechanic, have finally got it running and only a few rather mild choice words were ever employed. I didn't even break my foot with a swift kick to the truck's ribs.

I'll still call it "Beastly" in anticipation of the next set of problems to overcome but now with less rancor and more affection. It is now my blood, sweat, and tears I get to drive around in.