30 December 2011

Last Shepherd...

Do I have the right to be proud of my music compositions? Oh heavens, yes. The difference between a machine generated playback and a professional performance (even though she called it a practice) is so thrilling that you just can't miss this YouTube of International Clarinetist Marion Harrington playing my music. "The Last Shepherd" was written for her and may be included on her 2012 Christmas Charity CD or even on tour (which you can help with by visiting her link). Marion has called my music "melodic and atmospheric". Listen to her play and its a slice of heaven. http://goo.gl/Cde37

And now I'll go off and cry...

11 November 2011

Grave Anguish...

I am hoping that I am not the only person in the world to feel the anguish that loved one's suffered while they buried those they loved, their family and friends.

I spent two afternoons at the Mormon Pioneer Cemetery next to the Winter Quarters Historical site where one in twelve individuals died that first winter. Half of them were children.

I felt the anguish here as well as in other cemeteries where families buried their children, and while here I wrote a trio entitled "Winter Quarters" that I think shares the feeling, and still shares the ongoing drive behind the survivors.

31 October 2011

The layover...

If this was a plane I'd be on a two week layover. But this is not a plane, it is an ancient RV that ran out of gas and then had a starter fail. So it was more like a two week hibernation.

Cash flow resumes tomorrow, starter is now replaced, gas tank will be full to the engine's gulping top and I'll be on the concert tour again.

I find lots of WiFi sites I can reach while parked so I can continue the marketing of concerts, sales of music, submission of manuscripts, and general chit chat on FB or Twitter. Of course, part of my marketing is right up there at the top of the page, the various links to reach the sites that have some part of me.

I might mention that in 2010 I only composed 11 solo instrumentals pieces while most years I compose in excess of 25. The 25 is good since my subscription guarantees 25 an automatic extension on the subscription.  In the past two weeks I have composed fourteen solo works and twenty-three since the beginning of October. Also added another duet while continuing work on some large form compositions. 

The weather is fixing to change in a few days, and I'll be on the road, but I'm sure I won't be outrunning the snow and cold. Oh well, its just another challenge.

21 October 2011

To My Children...

To you, each of you, I give my heart, my soul, my love. I have never stopped loving you. I miss you to the point of tears each and every day. I long to know you and my grandchildren with the very core of my being.

I love you; and, although I may not have been a perfect father I know that I was not a bad father. The pain of having lost your love is worse than burning alive.

I miss you; your presence empowered my life, and your absence leaves me drained and broken.

I long to know you; even though I see your aura in the distance, and feel your heartbeats with each breath I take, I long to know you, to know my grandchildren, to know the lives of those I love.

Above all, I fear rejection should I breach my shell and seek for you.

Each of you: I long for you, I miss you, and, I love you.

12 September 2011

Deer Me...

I've been enjoying a family of deer for the past few months. The mother leads twins from last year, plus one spotted fawn from this year around the woods and meadows where I live. They often come right up to my porch while browsing. They stare at my dogs but ignore them as long as the dogs don't start running around and barking at them.

I've been working on the dogs to stay put and watch with me. They are doing fine at that most of the time.

When I went up to pick Huckleberries in July the mother doe snorted at me and kept circling around me to let me know I was a threat. I have neighbors who claim they have been attacked by a doe. I never spotted the spotted fawn when I was out in the woods, but I often see her peeking out of bushes when I'm out in the yard.

It is nice to have a family visit.

22 June 2011

Emotionally Breaking...

I don't often watch movies because I don't feel a need for entertainment. Inside my head music flows nearly nonstop. Twisting through the music stories try to make their presence known, worming, wriggling, sailing, trying to beat the music in the path of escape...either a pen or the keyboard. Deep down I know I am damaged and unless you have ever had an emotional breakdown you won't be able to understand  the scars that creates.

Today I watched a movie at the recommendation of a hitch-hiker I recently gave a ride to when passing through Spokane. He rode with me for about an hour and before leaving he told me that he thought I should watch the movie "August Rush". We hadn't talked about movies but we had talked about music and he looked at my notebook of scores I carry. These are the scores that I wrote, that I play, that keep tumbling around trying to get out for others to hear. He said, "You really need to watch it!"

I forgot about it because I was busy with other things, but in the process of recovering from recent injuries I found my schedule has changed and I went to the library to find something to fill the gap. As I was leaving  my inner music directed me to the rack of DVDs and the first one I saw on the shelf was "August Rush".

I had no choice but to take it and go home to watch it. And then I returned it today, the same day I checked it out, because I don't think I can bear to watch it again.

The movie is FANTASTIC and if you have not yet seen it, you should get it. I am sure that many people failed to enjoy it, but I feel that more people felt part of the energy. I enjoyed it. I loved it and "love" is not a word I every use lightly. I was enthralled. I was mesmerized. And I was emotionally shattered.

I am not proud to admit that I had a mental breakdown ten years ago when my wife chose to run off. My children and I survived somehow and over the years I have recovered to where I wish there was somebody in my life again. I am an intellectual, and academic, a very strong minded person, and I did not believe in mental health issues - and yet, I collapsed.

Watching "August Rush" (2007) brought back so many thing of my life that tear at me and I was in tears. They were uncontrollable. I was sobbing. I could not breathe and my head hurt like a sledge hammer had struck me in the center of my forehead.

The boy, August Rush, (aka Evan Taylor) heard music everywhere and all the time. So do I. He was orphaned (erroneously). I was an orphaned as a child at age 4 (and then adopted) and again by my children a few years after I lost my wife and my life. He composes and conducts and so do I. And I could feel and hear his life.

The music and the portrayals within the film were exceedingly well done. The arrangements, the overall encompassing feel of the movie, and the deep, deep love that was being expressed, tore at my core - heart and soul. It was magical, expressive, and seared my heart as if a lance had been driven through me.

Life moves on and as time has passed so have on in my unique manner. Every day I know that I have music to write, music to play, words to write, life to express... August Rush did. I do. Many others also must express in many, many, forms of music and literature.

I hope that, I will rebound from this devastating release of pain much faster than I did before. Yet, if there is anything I can pass on from this experience the least would be that each of us needs to remember that there are people who must express with music, or art, or literature, or dance... They must in order to live, to stay alive, to grow.

I'm not afraid to tell you now, "I hear music. I see music. I feel music." I may never have a woman as part of my life again, and I both fear that and accept it because of who I am, but I am following the path presented to me that should be shared with a woman -- I am making music.

As my life moves on I hope that nobody ever has to feel the pain I have felt, and I wish that those who have felt worse find a soothing path in life.

I've been broken, I am damaged, and yet I am still whole. Music ... I hear it, I see it, and I feel it.

01 June 2011

Catching Up...

It has been a busy few weeks here at Daniel-land. You can google it for a map, but I don't think they have yet located which brain cell is at work inside my head.

The last PeriODDically... post was about the video challenge. I asked for people to create a video using my Taking Tea With Lady Grey trio. Although I have only had one response so far, despite Tweeting it, I have had a great submittal. You should take seven minutes time to relax and go view the video created by Lanie Leigh of LLeigh Productns (yep, spelled like that). It is posted on YouTube and you may view it here.

I was introduced to Yegor Lanovenko this past week. He is a Ukrainian award winning poet/songwriter. He has agreed to help me in the prose/libretto/poems/text/lyrics needed for the music composition Tears For Earth that I am presently scrambling to release from its space in my brain. I wrote the text for the first movement, and Yegor has written text for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th movements. You can read the initial draft texts at Tears For Earth. At the same time, for the first movement "Bones of Earth" I have been calling for help in collecting "bones of Earth" phrases in many, many, languages. Not faring well on that task yet, but I am continuing to collect data. The current list is at the same link under Bones For Earth Chorus of Speakers menu selection. To look at more information about Yegor Lanovenko you can start at this page.

Also, this past few weeks my Twitter friend @MazzaClarinet, who is an international performing Clarinetist, has taken two of my solo pieces and performed them, videoed them, and will soon have them posted to YouTube. As soon as they are available I will update this page to include the link. One of the pieces is entitled "Last Shepherd" and was written and dedicated to her in her worldly name: Marion Harrington. The other title I'll hold for the update to this message.

Additionally, an author requested permission to use two other solo works for the book trailer to be created for her upcoming publication.

A week ago, Rob Graham (@pensake) interviewed me for his blog "The Write Knight." That interview of a freelance editor is easily found at Hay On Blog link. While you are there you should read Rob's other materials as there are some great articles and interviews. Tell him I said, "Thanks."

Plans for the summer were semi-solidified this past week when the papers on my Idaho gold mining claim were filed and mailed. I am expecting to be driving from Spokane, WA to Sioux Falls, SD area to pick up the stuff I left in storage when my truck broke down last October. Then back to Pierce, ID area for a summer leisure (if you call hand shoveling 10-12 tons of rock leisure). I might even find a few flecks of gold.

Last, perhaps, but not least, I maintain two separate subscriptions list. The first is a subscription to each piece of music I create for solo instruments during the year and is suitable for most orchestral instruments in the strings, woodwind or brass groups. They are sent via email as pdf files. The second is the mp3 files for ALL compositions I create during the year (solo or other chamber works). You may play my music (or a child/grandchild/friend) or you may listen to it. For more information visit danielhaycomposer.

This is a rushed entry for PeriODDically... and I'm hoping there are no glaring or blaring errors. However, if you see any I always appreciate corrections emailed to me.

27 May 2011


What a thrill it is...

Twitter user @pensake (Rob Graham) interviewed me as a freelance editor on his blog "The Write Knight". It was posted on 25 May 2011 so you'll find it at http://goo.gl/17nxW at the top or in the May 2011 Archives. Please, while you are there, take the time to look around his blog because there are some other great articles. Enjoy the visit.

If you wish to comment on the interview please do so there and I will try to reply. If you think I've missed replying you can contact me on Twitter @jesterhay or by emailing danielhay@gmail.com.

16 May 2011

Video Contest...

I had a friend who was going to work with me to create a video based upon the musical score "Taking Tea With Lady Grey".

I'd like to challenge video producers, trailer makers, film clip creators, of all types to create their work of art using my music. The music is about 5 and one half minutes long. The only thing that I require is that only my music is used, and that I receive credit for the music. I'd like to be able to create a web page listing each piece.

You can listen to "Taking Tea With Lady Grey" at http://danielhay.podbean.com and if you are interested in creating a work of art with it I can provide you a .wav or .mp3 file for your soundtrack.

All received entries will also be listed here in my blog, many times on Twitter, and on a separate web page.

Share this with those you know may be interested.


Last fall I was off grid so intensely that I had no connection to the internet at all. Presently I have a few hours most days provided that there is fuel in the generator and that not to much storm interference conflicts with the satellite dish.

Although I find the restrictions somewhat bothersome I enjoy the benefits of permaculture by design, nature walks, wood splitting, tending the critters.

In a few weeks, or months, I may be back to a summer long disconnect. It is possible I will spend the summer in a forest sifting through gravels on the bottom of an ice cold stream, again. The sifting is to find tiny specks of gold. Previously I've been as long as 8 months on a gold claim. I expect this time only 3-4 months.

For those who follow me - don't be worried. I intend to return and if I don't it was probably for a good reason.

Oh my, I just bit into a whole clove of garlic that is POTENT.... catch ya later.

22 April 2011

516 Title...

So here you are at my blog. PeriODDically... is just as it sounds; mostly periodic postings and often odd insights into being Daniel J Hay.

Many times I have postings ready to upload and then decide to dump them because they are either bragging about myself which I find I am prone to doing, or complaining about my health or life, which I can't stand doing but again find that I am prone to lapsing into.

This posting, however, is not going to flow in either vein. No bragging and no complaining.

Actually this posting is a request for assistance in naming the piece of music I just composed. You see, I've been getting a backlog of instrumental pieces with no name. This will make it difficult to include them in the annual subscription service I maintain and makes it look like an uncompleted list when I list the titles. The attached opus number just doesn't look completed without also having a title to go with it.

Therefore, if you will listen to the piece listed in the sidebar, (Opus 516), and then send me a comment for a name I would appreciate it. From the names submitted here and via private communication I will select a winning name and then add the submitting person's name in the dedication on the sheet music.

This piece is voiced in Oboe because I find that my composing software sounds best as Oboe voice, (or Cello or Bassoon). It is, however, suitable for most orchestral instruments.

Please note that if this posting is not at the top of my blog then it is likely the piece of music shown may no longer be Opus 516. You can always visit http://danielhay.podbean.com and look for the piece that will include 516 in the title regardless of how long after this posting you are visiting. Also be aware that only a small number of my pieces are uploaded to podbean.

To see which pieces of music I have had printed you can visit http://danielhay.magcloud.com and for information on subscribing to my annual sheet music service please visit http://bit.ly/g9muFh

01 April 2011


I spend a great deal of time researching topics that interest me. Much of the research is fodder for the author side of me to be used in works in progress. (#WIP on Twitter) Some of it is merely because some intrigued me at the moment it flashed by on my computer screen - so I had to learn more. Some is used in application to my composing side. And then, some is intended for future use in what would be best described as 'real life' situations.

When I was newly married I had considered a commune environment, and my wife and I reconsidered the same over and over as our children grew. One thing we could not accept was that the places we liked best were also places that had group parenting (or none, perhaps) and we could not see placing the well-being of our children into the hands of others.

Now that I am single, or rather, during the past ten years of being single, I have often considered other intentional communities (see http://www.ic.org) as well. In fact, I have listed myself as a new community to be formed if I find others of like-mindedness. At this moment I am living with friends who are trying to build a natural farm in the Washington mountains. I consider this a learning experience.

Combined with the better part of a year camping in the California forest mining gold told me I have the basic knowledge and determination to survive in a rustic setting. I have raised goats and poultry and rabbits in the past and have thought to do so again now. Such is the environs of this mountain side. And perhaps I will acquire a multi-acreage parcel and build from scratch as I have often dreamed of doing.

So part of my research goes into planning what I would do in the "if" situation of building a house from raw materials by myself. There is a blessing to the internet and research is one of those blessings. It also has many drawbacks but those are for a different posting.

The research at this point is making me lean towards building a masonry wood fired heater (sometimes known as a Russian Heater) in the middle of nowhere. Then building a slip-form concrete house around that. Both are time consuming and require a great deal of labor but of time and labor I have plenty.

To this end I actually advertised on a certain 'date' service for a similarly minded woman who would be interested in a rural, rustic, pioneer, farming, cheese-making, yogurt-making, poultry-goat-rabbit-fish raising project. Apparently my research failed me because the only responses I have gotten are from titilation-for-pay-service bimbettes.

It seems my Facebook account (http://www.facebook.com/haydaniel) also sees me as a target for such. The only ads that ever show up on my FB page are of the same nature. Of course, I can't make it choose some other advertisement stream - and having no interest in such I tend to stay away from my FB page. Naturally, people will say but you can ignore those ads, and yes, I can, but they are still there in profusion and are annoying.

So while I research concrete, masonry heaters, siding, flooring, windows, how to... etc... it is nice to know the world is running on without me. It is of course, and faster than I pedal (being to old to run on bad knees). Yet what research would be replete without a plea for additional information?

No, no, not information on the bimbettes of the world, but perhaps you can give me instruction on finding the right person to share such an adventure. (Or families with or without children.) And then I will research that as well...

06 March 2011

Teh Editer...

On my editor page I have mentioned the damage you do to yourself if you are a writer submitting material that was not edited. Silly things appear, similar to the title of this blog, during self editing, fixing typos, changing text, and all the other actions you take preparing your manuscript. You've run a Spell Checker on your file, honest, guaranteed, and yet, they still show up.

It is crucial that the very last thing you do before submitting a file for consideration is to run your spell checker AGAIN. It doesn't matter how many times you have previously run your spell checker, how many times friends have reviewed your manuscript, nor how often you have had critique partners review it. The very last thing you do is to run spell checker again. Unless you can open your file in a view only mode every time the file is opened for any reason it is subject to errant changes.

Those changes may be as simple as hitting the wrong key while trying to scroll down to an area you had an idea about. It could be your family cat streaking by across your keyboard, or the youngster tossed you a ball while you weren't looking. It could be that your sleeve dropped, or your fingers got tired, or you fell asleep at the keyboard. Errors happen, (thanks Forrest Gump).

As an editor, see ( http://bit.ly/9Yk7TX ) I often find problems that could have been found and corrected by the author before it was ever submitted. When editing for a publisher I feel that if the author didn't care enough to run spell check there is no reason for us to care - and the story gets passed over. With hundreds or thousands of manuscripts passing my eyes why would I want to work with an author who couldn't take the time to run spell check?

Another problem that I've seen in manuscripts submitted for consideration to agents or publishers include missing words, or missing sentences, most often caused by cut and paste operations and then the author saves the file thinking their little change is okay as the rest of the document has been edited.

I have read through manuscripts that have been reviewed by other writers, by critique partners, by writers groups, by friends and family, and by other editors, and have always found errors that should have been fixed. You, yourself, have seen errors in published books that made you wonder how it got missed -- and the greatest number of errors could have been caught by a simple spell check program.

And then, sometimes, there are content conflicts. As an example; a recently published book tried to say that four men carried two casket-sized, lead-lined, crates full of gold ingots, along with shovels and picks, across boggy ground in one trip. While editing I noticed the near impossibility of this and had it changed to be more feasible. Yet, making that change required another change near the end of the book, for consistency, and three previous editors had failed to take note.

If a character has black hair you can't let them have blonde hair later without making the change - and yet I find such character adjustments in many manuscripts. Even though spell checking takes care of many problems it can not take care of all the potential problems in a manuscript.

It is important that you get an editor. A real editor. And then send your editor the final spell checked version by running spell check as the last operation you do before saving the file.

28 February 2011

Snow Down...

The snow is coming down. Flakes are thick, and heavy with moisture. I just shoveled the walk for the folks at the WiFi cafe and found it to be nearly an inch of slush underneath 4-5 inches of heavy snow. Must be why I have a pectoral cramp.

While the snow is coming down I've nearly finished the countdown of uploading Music of Daniel J Hay. Two more to go today. Lullabies for Treble and one for Bass clef instruments is up. Next will be a collection of Laments, both for Treble and Bass clef. I still have many, many, pieces to upload but I think I'll go back to the sequential process for awhile like the first six volumes and try to get them brought up to date.

Of course, if I get on a roll (drum roll) I may attack the duet collections next as most trio or larger ensemble pieces have been uploaded. I've got an idea for the 18 voice brass piece but I'll have to reformat it before giving it a try.

I've finished "The Thirteenth Worm" editing. That children's story is going on the list to be presented to literary agents (along with the other dozen or so.) Ugh! Maybe I should consider putting them into magazine format and just uploading them. Ah, perhaps, subscription service...hmmm...

15 February 2011

Spark Of Past...

At times it is hard to believe that many, many, months have gone by since my last posting. And of course, being that this is me, nothing turned out the way planned, expected, or even slightly anticipated.

Greetings to those I know. Greetings and greetings to those I don't know. I believe I've been paying a penance to fate. I have been without internet access for so long I have even forgotten some of my access codes for various pages that I used to visit with regular abandon. Of course the only pages that forgetfulness affected were those having to do with my financial status each month. (The effect of a big ZERO.)

However, I did get logged in two months ago very briefly and discovered that some of my Twitter friends had been looking for me - with concern. I received an email from the Sheriffs department in Shelby County, TN who informed me that I had been placed on a national missing person listing because of my last posting on Twitter admitting that I had become stranded when my truck went kablooyeeeee! Whether the listing action was due to Twitter friends or my neighbors in Memphis it was not only surprising but endearing. (However, getting off that list is proving to be difficult.)

My dogs and I are fine. I rent a room in a 100 yr old cabin, and have since December. There is no internet available there and until February I did not have a car. There is a nice little WiFi cafe here in town, but the two mile walk in snow and ice was more than I was willing to do - the risk of falling with my knees is ever present.

Now I have a huge gas guzzler with 4x4 so can get around if needed. This is in the lick of time as I am preparing to move on somewhere else still. This has been a temporary setting born of desperation and frustration. The where of the moving on is still up in the air. The two main choices are so far apart in their descriptions perhaps only their differences are the underpinning of my soul. One choice is a 20 acre piece of raw land - so raw that there is no power, water, or habitat. The other choice is a full service furnished room including Internet.

Wow, tough choice for the likes of me since I want all the perceived benefits of both. Of course, I'd give up any and all goals if I were to find the right person to share my life with, but as I am me, myself, and I, there are no expectations left in me for the potential to ever again be sharing.

Why am I serving penance to fate? If this is possible it is well deserved. For I have wronged my friends in an attempt to make my departure understandable. Although I am not going to discuss the details here I will lay the blame where it belongs. It is ME. My fault, for I fabricated a story to cover my feelings. Truthfully, I lied. It was false, and it was wrong. And I have been ill from the stress I caused myself.

So to my neighbors across the street I wish to apologize. The truth is that being closely involved with your family, your son, yourselves as a family, broke me up. There is great love in your family even though you don't want it to show. And that love, that family togetherness, broke me. I wish you, my neighbors, to know that I appreciated being accepted so willingly but I found myself on the verge of a mental collapse. I had to isolate myself again.

And to my neighbor next door - you understand my wanderlust. I thank you for accepting me as me regardless of my skin color. There are too many people in the world who can't see past color when in fact humans should be color blind (or blinded).

Unfortunately my isolation became more than expected. Was it fate? Was it punishment? To me it is just life but I have had a great deal of time to ponder my mental condition. I have written more on my projects, and have again been writing music that had been eluding me in my distress at the beginning of fall.

So I am recovering again. I miss Twitter and hope to become active again. I miss checking on my friends on FaceBook even though I don't like to post on there often. I am getting busy again with compiling my music for the print publications. My visit here is limited by the battery in my laptop so I won't be on often or very long. But for now I get the chance to say "greetings" and hope that all of you are doing well.